Another thing that I am pretty good at is having no patience at all! This kind of goes with the not allowing God any control either. I have no patience, ecspecially when I am waiting for something important. I could have just let God have control and allow it to work out in His time, but no, I had to worry and put myself through much more than I needed to. Definetely a lesson learned! The big question I have been looking at since then, is where do I go from here? I kind of felt like an idiot and ashamed to even talk to God because I didn't give Him a chance and here I was worrying about nothing! I have found this to be a problem in my relationship with God, now. At times, I feel like He is not going to give me the time of day because I chose to ignore Him when I needed Him the most. Its kind of like I feel as if I am using Him. I can only go to Him when things are good, I can't trust Him when things are rough. This totally bites! I know the truth, and just because I turned my back on God doesn't mean that He has turned His back on me. Something hard to drill into my mind and heart, though. The past 2 days have seemed to be somewhat better. I think it is going to take a while for me to start to believe that God is still going to accept me, even though I did not trust Him. Hopefully, things get back to the way they were sooner than later!
