Storms in our Life

Precious Saints,

This past week has been a very rough one for me. I won't go into the details but I will share how it seemed to reach a head yesterday morning. The heaviness I felt was almost unbearable. The sorrow that filled my heart was greater than anything I'd known. Hope was no where to be found and what was there was a great sense of feeling like a failure. I felt abandoned by the Lord and could not feel His presence or comfort. I wanted to go "home" and be with Him - not because I sensed my job here on earth was done but because I did not feel that I could go on. Such weariness overcame me that I neither wanted to talk nor did I want to listen. I just wanted to sleep to escape how I was feeling. Had I not known that taking anyone's life unjustly, including my own, was a sin it makes me wonder how far I would have gone without His Word being in me.

This morning I told my husband that I was as close to death yesterday as anyone could be while still inside their body, yet the pain was very much alive. Before going to sleep last night I asked the Lord to help me understand what was going on. I'd even wondered if I was dying to the flesh that His Spirit could rise in me. Was this an actual death taking place within my being? I did not know.

Wish I could say that I have all the answers today. There is still much I am seeking Him for. What I can share with you is that we are in the midst of a spiritual battle and the intensity has heightened in these days we are living in. This morning when I awoke I knew that I had to press in and seek Him for the answers that were being sought in my desperate state. Picking up where I last read in His Word found me at Matthew Chapter 16. When I read verses 24-25 I felt the Lord was speaking directly to me, "Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." No matter how bad I felt yesterday, I need to keep my eyes upon Him, dying to self no matter how painful it might be. With that, I went to press into the things He has called me to do, even though I didn't feel like it. One of those things is this site. It was put on my heart to doing put in a post at the "Searching for My Beloved" forum. I asked my sweet hubby to make a copy of the typed entry so I could "paste" it in. Sometimes I will just paste it in from my files, no always reading it. This time I read it. And when I did, I was amazed that the Lord gave me a word almost two years ago that would speak direcly to me two years later! Truly, our Lord is amazing! Thank You, Jesus! It really ministered to me.

Though I had not felt the Lord's presence with me yesterday, He had not left me nor forsake me. Neither has He forsaken you. Though the storms in your might seem very intense, He is there along side you and waiting for You to reach out to Him. May I suggest that you read today's post over at the "Searching for My Beloved" forum if you are going through a storm? I pray it will bless you as much as it did me.

Looking beyond the storm,
Joan