Here I am. Use me.

Heavenly Father,

Yesterday marked three months since my precious Billy went home to be with You. His physical absence on earth will always bring me sadness for he was and is the love of my life, second to You. But with that sadness is so much joy and thankfulness to You for having blessed me with such a treasure of a man as my husband and my friend and the loving father of our daughters. I have seen our love grow like a tree and that fruit come forth in our children, their husbands and their children. I know this tree will grow strong and bear much forth and can see in my spirit the grandchildren, great grandchildren on down to the time of Your Son's returning for this tree is healthy, strong, rooted firmly in You and set down close to Living Waters. Praise be to God! What a blessed woman am I. Thank You, My Lord. Thank You, thank You, thank You!!!

Holy One, Billy's passing from this earth does not seperate me from the love we have shared, nor does it seperate me from the calling You have placed upon us. Like Abraham, the promises You gave him lived on long after he fell asleep and lived on the earth no more. It lived on in his lineage as Your promised will do with Billy. God, You are so awesome and I am in such awe of You. Bless You, my Lord for You are truly worthy of all blessing and honor.

Lord, I come to submit my life to You anew. Set my path on the path You would have me follow. Please heal my heart of any brokeness, hurt and/or doubts. Let there be no cracks, no inlets that the enemy can enter. Fill me with Your will, Your desires, Your joy, goodness and love. May I be a vessel fully knowing Your goodness and out of a grateful heart be one that isemptied of any self-will, a vessel desiring to do only that which is blessing to You because I love You so.

Billy, I will love you forever. In that, death has no sting though there is a longing to see you once again. But Billy does live on in me, in our children, their mates and children and in those people whose lives you have touched. Father, You gave me a man who never felt threatened by my love for Jesus and even shared that love for Him,too. That was a gift in itself, to have a believing husband. And now that my husband is truly one with Jesus, let me, too, be one with Him, seeing Christ Jesus as not only my Savior but as my Husband and my Friend, my eternal Beloved. Let me live my life to honor Him and bring Him glory, bearing spiritual children into eternal life, adding to His quiver.

Oh, Father, here I am. Use me for I am a woman blessed beyond measure by Your hand and from this place of deep gratitude and love for You I desire to be a blessing for Your Name's sake. Let it be so, in Jesus' name I pray. amen.

Humbly yours,
Joan