My need for You grows...Aug. 24, 2004 entry

My need for You grows...

August 24, 2004


Precious One,

Oh, Jesus, how I love You! How everything else pales in comparison to You! You are my all in all, my everything. How I truly long to know You better. Ah, for grace to know You more...

Lord, today is the final day of this fast but it is only the beginning of my pursuit to know You more Lord. I will not be content until I see You face to face, until I gaze into Your loving eyes and all else is lost to me and there is nothing or no one else but You, my Beloved. Lord, what a glorious day that will be! I love You so.....

Jesus, as this fast draws to it's conclusion I am seeing my need for you even greater, finding a deeper understanding of Your words, when You spoke, "It is written, 'MAN SHALL NOT LIVE BY BREAD ALONE, BUT OF EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.'" (Matthew 4:4) Yes, Lord, yes! How powerful are these words and You, Father God, used something in the natural to shed more light on the spiritual. The further I went into this fast the more aware I became of a decline in energy and towards the end I was hit with sickness and disruptive sleep due to various ailments. Lord, over the past few days it seems like my mind would 'shut down.' Even now I have to dig deep into the recesses of my mind to find the words needed to describe all of this, pausing, praying, searching, recognizing how low my physical being is. At times part of me wanted to stop, not press in any further and just give into the weakness and to rest and put everything aside until I felt stronger. But, Lord, You have kept me in all of this and I know without You I would have given into the flesh and broken the fast in order to strengthen the body and I would have felt justified to do so. 'After all, God doesn't want me to suffer, does He,' would have been my reasoning. But You, Lord, saw my heart's desire to please You and to get to know You better and, through You, come to know our heavenly Father in a greater dimension. You, Jesus, became my strength, my vision, my hope, and You redeemed me from the weakness of my flesh that I became an overcomer during this time because of You! Thank You, my Sweet Lord. Thank You so much. You have shown me not only my need for You, but also what I can accomplish with You! Thank You, my Love......

August 25, 2004 - the day of my birth

Thank You for my birth, heavenly Father! How wonder it is to be loved by You and to love You in return! My heart fills with joy and thanksgiving. How awesome You are, my God. Thank You for giving me life, first in my Mother's womb and then eternally through Your Son, Jesus Christ! And, Daddy God, thank You so much for Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Through them You are more tangible, more real, more accessible to my understanding, my heart and mind. Words cannot express my admiration, thanks and love to You for You are the Giver of everything good and You have given me so much. Thank You! thank You! Thank You! Just wanted to say that before going any further.

Now, to You, My Jesus, Lord You are impressing upon me the importance of writing down what You have shown me through this fast. First, so that I will have it to look back on and secondly, so that others can see and reflect on what is being shared. (Pause, prayer....Yes, Lord, I hear You saying that, yes, I need to write this down, but for now I need to rest and the Holy Spirit will bring to my remembrance what I need to know and do later when I am refreshed. So, for now Lord, I will put pen and paper down...