Why Do I Need To Forgive Those Who Hurt Me?

Dear Saints,

What do I have to forgive those who hurt me? Well, to answer it quite simply, because Jesus said to! As a follower of Christ we are to be obedient to that which our Lord instructed us to do. Jesus said, "If you love Me, keep my commandments"(John 14:15). Obedience to our Lord should be enough to motivate us to forgive those who hurt or sin against us. But let us take it even deeper.

In Mark 11:25-26 we see Jesus saying, "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any; that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses." Ouch! When we do not forgive others for what they have done to us, we ourselves are held accountable for the sins we do, those we are aware of and those we are not. I don't know about you, but I still need God's mercy and grace. I have not reached perfection as yet. Yes, I need God's forgiveness, don't you? So that definately is another good reason why we should forgive others.

Let us go deeper yet. When we do not forgive, we carry a burden upon our hearts. The hurt and anger from that hurtful act done towards us begins to fester hardens the softness of our hearts where it is not as easy to hear the Lord's voice speak to us. In time, it forms a hard shell around our hearts, a layer that seperates us from communion with the Lord and He with us. Unforgiveness is like hardening of the arteries causing an obstruction of God's spirit from flowing in and through us. When we do not forgive others and let go of what has happened to us through them, we find ourselves worse off then when the original wrong came against us! Here we carry the weight of that sin done to us which only gets heavier in time. When we do not forgive others we can become bitter, angry and vengeful.Unforgiveness can led to physical sickness, not to mention the emotional trauma it causes. We end up harming ourselves much more than the person who first hurt or sin against us! Surely we don't want to play into the enemy's hand like that, do we?

So, why should we forgive those who hurt us? First and foremost, because our Lord told us to! Next, because if we don't our own sins will not be forgiven by our heavenly Father. Also, when we do not forgive others we suffer in our own lives. Unforgiveness is like a cancer that spreads throughout our bodies, affecting other areas in numberous negative ways. And it hinders us from hearing clearly from our Lord. God knows this is true and has set forth "rules and regulations" for our own good. That's what a loving Father does.

It is our prayer that the Holy Spirit would reveal to you any areas in your life where unforgiveness is hiding. We pray deliverance from this burden in your life, in Jesus' name. Be blessed and walk in close fellowship with our Lord and our heavenly Father. Obedience to our Lord brings peace into our hearts. Hallelujah!!!

In His love,
Joan

Hey

Can you 'forgive' and still walk in 'tough love'? Loving and forgiving the person, but not allowing/enabling them to continue to sin against you? Can you be free of quilt when you have to draw the line and say "no" to the abusive treatment?

stace\o/

Hi Stace,

I believe when we truly forgive them for the wrong they have done us, our hearts will be healed of the pain they have caused and we will pray that they will be freed from this abusive treatment. We don't have to buddy, buddy with them if they continue in their actions but our hearts don't need to be embittered towards them either. That causes more problems for us then it does for those who treated us wrongly.

Don't know if that helps but hope it does. :-)

Love ya,
Joan

Hey

I'm not bound by that fallacy any longer, the one that says true forgiveness means you can be buddy-buddy, and even goes as far to say that if you are not 'buddy buddy' then you haven't really forgiven.

But that opportunity to feel guilty is available to those who have no one to lean upon for additional strength when the guilt
bombards them. Such as in a failed marriage or other deep and soul binding relationships.

I am glad you're here to stand with them.

lv
stace\o/

God doesn't forgive us until we confess our sins to Him, so why should we have to forgive someone who hurt us before they come to us and apologize?

Naja

You wrote, “God doesn't forgive us until we confess our sins to Him…” and it really got me to thinking. Since Jesus came on the earth long before I was born and He had already died for the sins of all men/women/children who would believe on the One that sent Him, forgiveness of sins was already made available to me. Even when Jesus was on the cross, in excruciating pain, He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” How many of us can say that we were hurt as badly as was Jesus? Yet, without asking for forgiveness, Jesus asked our heavenly Father to forgive them who hurt Him! We might feel that we are justified in having animosity towards someone who hurt us but if we are to be followers of Christ, are we not to walk as He did. He forgave those who hurt Him. Are we not to forgive those who hurt us?

Now, whether the person who we are forgiving receives what we are giving them, that remains in their hands. It is not up to us any longer. We have done what we need to do. And so it is with salvation given through Christ Jesus. God has given it to us freely. Whether we receive it or not is up to us. Salvation and forgiveness of sins is available to every man, woman and child. It has been given to us over 2,000 years ago through God’s Beloved Son, yet it was conceived in God’s being long before any of us were here. Do we deserve this forgiveness? Absolutely not! When we were yet sinners God prepared a way to restore us back to Him, forgiving our sins and knowing the frailty of our being.

Why does God want us to forgive others who have sinned against us? Because He knows what carrying unforgiveness will do to us. It works like a magnet, attracting the enemy to our lives. When we do not forgive others we are living in the natural realm and not taking on the characteristics of our Lord Jesus and our heavenly Father. To forgive is of God. To not forgive is of this world, wanting to get even with those who hurt and offend us. If anyone has a reason to bear hurt towards anyone, it would be our Lord Jesus. He Who was without sin was accused of wrong doing. How unjust is that! Yet He bore the burden for our sakes. Are we not to be willing to bear the burden of others, those who falsely accuse us and wrongfully use us? The Bible says that it is the goodness of God that draws men to repentance. We who say they are Christians must realize that our Lord has required of us to be like-minded with Him, in unity of purpose with the Father’s will being done upon the earth. When we act like the world we are denying Christ within us. How pleasing is that to our Father? It isn’t. Once again we find ourselves in need of His forgiveness. I think repentance is more for us than it is for our heavenly Father. He knows where our weaknesses are and yet He still loves us. Isn’t that amazing? His love doesn’t stop when we sin but it does separate us from Him - by our own doing, not His. Asking for forgiveness doesn’t make Him love us more, but it does place us in a position of right standing before Him. Don’t we want to love as He loves, showing the world Christ in us? Don’t we want people to come to know Jesus, see Him? We are His representatives on earth, His ambassadors. So, why should we forgive those who hurt us? Simple. He told us to! It’s a no brainer. It is called obedience. The highest form of worship to our heavenly Father. Hallelujah. Sounds like a good enough reason to me.

God bless,
Joan