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Drawn to His Marvelous Light - April 26, 2006 entry

Posted by Joan Bowe 
Joan Bowe
Drawn to His Marvelous Light - April 26, 2006 entry
October 23, 2007 05:25PM
April 26, 2006

Good Morning Sweet Lord,

It has been far too long since writing in this journal. So many emotions, thoughts are flooding my being. Jesus, precious Jesus! How I long to see You, to know You more, to bless You. I can’t even explain this burning love that beats within my heart for You. I can’t even understand it myself! How can you love someone you’ve never seen or touched? Yet I know I have “seen” You in my spirit. I have “touched” Your hands as You extended Your hands to mine. I have even been embraced by Your arms as we danced together in the spirit.

Many years ago I was enraptured by the brilliance of Your glorious Light while sedated for the caesarean birth of our precious daughter, Teri. I didn’t understand this at the time, never having heard of near death experiences. All I knew was that being in the midst of that beautiful light far exceeded even the birth of our second child. Though I knew that I had just given birth to our second daughter, the impact of that tunnel and the Light I found at it’s end took center stage as I tried to explain it to my husband. Before that experience I had been afraid of death, a fear I had as far back as I could remember. Going from that dark tunnel towards the small speck of light in the distance is something I will never forget. Once reaching the fullness of the Light brought me to a place I had never been before, a place I long to be again. The fear of death left me and a joy and peace beyond description filled me. That light was so bright, yet it didn’t hurt my eyes but it brought a warmth to my entire body.

Lord, this was all so foreign to me. It wasn’t until years later that I became aware of near death experiences, hearing what others had gone through. Now I didn’t see any deceased relatives or any other “person”. It was just that glorious Light. I was shown a panorama of words and phrases during that experience but it didn’t make much sense to me. But, oh, was it such a powerful experience. After reading about these other near death experiences I came to know it was You that I saw so many years ago. It was Your peace and joy that filled me. Yes, Jesus, I have seen You and I know that I have been truly blessed by it. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or selfish but I long for more of You! Many have not been as blessed as You have blessed me in this way and I pray that they would for they all need You, Lord. But because I have tasted of Your goodness, I want more of You and I will not be content until we are together, face to face and forever more. Praise be to God! Guess that is why “Blessed Assurance” is my favorite song! I love You, Lord.

Dear Lord, while writing this I was feeling bad that the birth of Teri took a ‘back seat’, concerned that if she ever read this she might feel that her birth wasn’t important to me - which was not the case! Of the four girls she is the one I looked forward to the longest for her pregnancy seemed to last forever! J I was wondering, since I didn’t understand the experience back then if it didn’t detract from her early years. But, Lord, while writing this today You showed me how that experience actually helped make Teri and Missy’s life better because prior to that encounter with You I was dealing with fear of death due to the murders of Uncle George, Aunt Bernice and Barbara Jean that took place little more than a year before Teri’s birth and then Uncle Vinnie‘s passing just a couple of months before she was born. Death had always been something I feared, not knowing what to expect. Then Teri‘s pregnancy lasted so long. I was a bundle of nerves, not knowing what to expect next. Though I didn’t understand everything about the tunnel and the light, I was so aware of the peace it brought me. Lord, Thank You so much for the comfort You brought back then. I wonder how many others have encountered You without knowing it at that moment of encounter. Oh Lord, please show them that it is You so that it will strengthen them throughout their lives. Jesus, they need to know it is You for it will help them so much.

Which reminds me of my cousin Jimmy. It was his parents and sisters who were brutally murdered while he was on vacation with his wife. It was just a few years back that he shared with me an experience he had when a young boy. What he shared really floored me since I knew his dad was raised as a Catholic and his mom was a Mormon and raised their children as such. I guess we kind of put God in a box, thinking He can only do things through a certain group. Silly people we are. Any ways, when Jimmy was a little boy he was awaken from his sleep and there You stood at the foot of his bed. Jesus, You visited him! And You spoke these words to him, “Everything is going to be alright.” Lord, when his parents and sister were murdered he said it was those words You spoke so many years before that sustained him through the darkest time in his life. Lord, I was so amazed. It taught me that You don’t look at the denomination a person is from. You look upon their heart and their willingness to know You. How magnificent You are!

Father God, please soften the hearts of all mankind that they might receive Your glorious Son, in Jesus’ name I pray. Thank You, Holy One.
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